Reflections on May 4th and Bitterness
Before all the “May the 4th Be With You” clatter that surrounds the fourth day of the fifth month, this former Kent St. student recalled May 4th as a remembrance of the shootings on campus on May 4th, 1970. For those who are unaware, the Ohio National Guard, following a week of protests and tumult in the city of Kent and the campus of Kent St., arrived on campus to attempt to keep and/or restore the peace. What happened was anything but.
Around midday, the National Guard fired on the students. Once the shooting stopped, four were dead and nine were wounded, among them was a student named Alan Canfora. For the rest of his life (Canfora died in 2020), he continued to call attention to the events of May 4th.
When I was on campus 30 years later, covering May 4th for the college TV station was a fairly automatic project; I could always count on something happening somewhere that I could package together and have for the news sometime that week. In 2003, my last year on campus, I got a chance to interview Albert Canfora, Alan’s father, to get his reflection on the events of May 4th. I wasn’t really working a story angle; I was merely exploring how different generations responded to the annual commemorations, and the elder Canfora, so I hoped, would be a unique perspective.
So I made the trip to Barberton, got to his house, set up my gear, and started the interview. I don’t remember specifics about what he said, but I will never forget his attitude and demeanor throughout.
Very…very…bitter.
I don’t blame anyone for feeling anger about a family member getting shot by the government. I don’t begrudge anyone having rage in their heart for losing a loved one. However, 33 years had passed since that day…and Canfora appeared to be as bitter then as he most likely was in the aftermath of that day. For 10 minutes (though it felt way longer), he railed against the Ohio National Guard, Republicans in general, former Ohio Governor Rhodes, President H.W. Bush, the Iraq War, and other content that was similar in tone. At the very least, I got a 15 sec SOT (sound on tape) of him for my package; you never want to return from Barberton emptyhanded.
In Craig Groeschel’s book Soul Detox, he talks about a time when a family member was sexually assaulted, and he writes in-depth about how angry he was, and justifiably so. However, he also details how bitter he was becoming. “The more I meditated on Max’s actions to my sister,” Groeschel writes, “the more polluted and contaminated my soul became…And guess who my bitterness hurt the most? Me.”
Bitter people seldom know they’re bitter. The bitterness is fueled by a belief they’re right, and it justifies people to continue their bitter feelings and bitter actions. As a result, they don’t see the damage they do around them. In many cases, bitter people end up doing greater harm around them than what has been done to them.
It would be very easy for me to slip into an attitude of bitterness. I can always find a reason to slip back into an old bitter pattern, justifying my actions and feelings based on the harm that has been done to me (or I perceive has been done to me). But what would be accomplished? Do I get better? Does any healing take place?
No. No. And No.
Hebrews states plainly, “See to it that no one falls shorts of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (12:15). The Greek word for bitterness is pikria, which can also mean poison. When we allow bitterness to consume us, we poison ourselves, and we can poison ourselves for decades, ruining our relationships, as well as shortening our lives, in all likelihood. Being bitter never produces anything positive. This is a lesson I’ve learned many times.
Now sure, you may be right. You may be surrounded by idiots and fakes, and you’re the only sparkling example of humanity, and all these other people are holding you down. Fine. Even if that is true (and I doubt it is), ask yourself these two questions:
Do you want to be bitter, or do you want to be better?
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be healed?